NO SOY, NO GLUTEN, NO DAIRY, NO MAN

I don't write to depress or bring down anyone with my "lifestyle". I do hope that if there are other women out there that have found themselves living a man-void life, that we somehow connect. And, if there are men out there who find what I write 'interesting' or 'mind-opening' that they can too add maybe some insight.

But...I am going to let you know I have stomach 'issues'. So, today I decided to have my morning coffee with my daughter's soy milk (I ran out of my almond milk). You can guess why I have to drink almond milk...yes, some kind of lactose intolerance. So, you can guess what happened. I have been feeling that I also might have 'issues' with soy...not funny.

I weighed myself yesterday morning and the scale showed a little less than 115 lbs. I remember when once about a year ago I couldn't make more than 108 and decided to have the biggest pumpkin pancake plate at IHOP. (It's difficult to find what to eat when you have intolerances...you know).

Well...the soy did it and I had to sit sadly at the toilet...sorry -that's not nice to admit. :/

I went to Greenstar in hopes of finding something REALLY safe for my stomach and saw this Udi's pizza and my heart beated happily. No soy, no gluten, no dairy...and what Udi's doesn't know...

no man...

So, I took my frozen pizza home and thanks to Udi's (I hope they have a male chef in their Colorado center), enjoyed my pizza by myself!

Not depressing at all! My heart and stomach where completely happy. So happy I wanted to tell the world -so I'm telling...

:)

"Madness"

It makes me wonder if some of  my "madness" is tightly knotted to the predominant absence of male figures in my life.


I've thought that for many man-woman relationships to work, both of them needed to have seen examples of behaviors. Examples from were to draw role expectations from. And, as you grow and are watching these interactions on a pretty much daily basis (given you had a mom and a dad) then eventually you become wired for the job. You grow thinking you know how it works. You understand basic behaviors which correspond to each part of the relationship. And, it is important to show you know- it actually shows as "confidence". So, confidence becomes a look that shines out of people who feel secure... Secure because they already got schooled/wired into their "expected" roles.


Well, that's a beautiful story for a man and a woman who both come from the same confident spot.


But, when you get individuals like me...


Well, what the heck do you know what's expected?


I probably choose what I think is most advantageous to my survival or it takes me forever to make a decision (without pre-wiring I have to think harder and pray about what'll I do); I cannot choose from what I have been pre-wired-to-be list. So it becomes very confusing to those confident souls who try to understand my ever changing nature.


And then, once in a while I get into contact with a man. Like when I was selling snow tires through Craigslit and when one of my male friends (who I actually never see) told me through Facebook he got his heart broken again...


And when I get in slight touch with those aethereal creatures :) I think my nature tries to straight-fix my wires into what maybe should've been, maybe I even become a bit more "confident".